GILDA JOYCE shares some super sleuthy secrets!
Sunday, May 9, 2010 at 01:42PM 
A NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR
THE CURE FOR WRITER’S BLOCK!
BY GILDA JOYCE
To be honest, I’ve never really understood people who get “writer’s block” because I have the opposite problem. It’s a problem a colleague of mine charmingly described as “diarrhea of the pen.” (Okay, I’ll admit it was one of my elementary school teachers who came up with this diagnosis. She didn’t like my habit of adding five pages of witty footnotes to help explain the page-long book report I had turned in.)
People like me are always being told to “tighten things up,” reign things in,” and “tone things down,” when it comes to our writing and our wardrobes. We’re always being advised: “Cut back a bit, sweetie; I can’t see where you’re going with all of this. Lose the first 100 pages. Oh, and while you’re at it, you might consider removing that leopard-print jacket – not to mention the dangly earrings, the red lipstick, and the bangles.”
But if you’re the kind of person who has a hard time getting started when you sit down to write your best-selling novel or your book report—one of those types who could use a little mental laxative to get things flowing (sorry! I couldn’t resist the yucky metaphor) – may I suggest my favorite creative medicine?
Hold onto your bonnets, ladies and gents, because it’s going to sound a little old-fashioned. Don’t be shocked….. The solution is – ta da!
Write your best friend a letter.
“But I just sent a text message to my bff during algebra class five minutes ago,” you say.
No – not a “text message.” I mean write a letter on real paper with whole sentences. And everything. Even an envelope, an address, and a stamp. You might even mail it.
“But why should I do that?” you ask.
“Because,” I answer, prying the cell phone from your sweaty right hand and the melting candy bar from your sticky left hand, “for one thing, when you’re talking to your good friend, the words flow easily. And that’s the feeling you’d love to create with your writing — the feeling that you know your “audience” (who you’re talking to) and that you’re simply sitting down for a heart-to-heart conversation. Writing a letter to your friend will free you up to stop WRITING with a capital “WR” and simply start communicating. In other words, “TAWK!” as my grandmother would say.
Unlike four-paragraph essays, book reports, thank-you notes to grandparents, and college entrance narratives, a letter to your best friend has NO RULES in terms of structure or form. Well, there may be one rule: you obviously want your best friend to be either cracking up with laughter or on the edge of his or her seat flipping through the multiple pages of your letter. You want him or her to seize a pen and write you back immediately. Or at least send you a text.
I once wrote a letter to my best friend Wendy that began on my old typewriter and then continued through five different colors of ink before concluding with some pretty memorable song lyrics written in an orange crayon. It took three envelopes to hold the entire letter (which included a dramatic script featuring some notorious characters at our school, cartoon illustrations, and few commercial breaks for various household products) and I sent it out in three envelopes labeled “chapter 1,” “chapter 2,” and “chapter 3.”
If your own style is more formal or girlie, you could write with a fountain pen on fine paper and then spritz your work with perfume. Why not seal the envelope with dripping wax from a candle? As you can see, writing a real letter frees you to express yourself in so many ways.
Plus, there’s nothing more surprising and fun than finding a fat letter in the mailbox. When you find that letter, it’s kind of like discovering an unexpected treasure chest that contains something that was created just for you. Believe me, your friend will keep that treasure for a long time. My friend Wendy still has letters I wrote her back in fifth grade. I don’t have many letters from Wendy, but I do have some lengthy notes she passed in math class back in the days before we owned cell phones. (Let’s be honest; friends are not always equal when it comes to letter-writing motivation and skills. But that’s okay.)
My point is that the text messages Wendy and I have sent each other are gone for good. But the letters on real paper will still be around to embarrass our grandkids and baffle our biographers some day.
So why not give it a try the next time you’re staring at that blank piece of paper or lamenting the latest text insult forwarded from some “frenemy” who’s only posing as your friend? Believe me, some pretty amazing stories can emerge just from starting a simple letter to a true best friend.
Oh, and if by any chance you don’t have a best friend, don’t let that stop you. Some of the greatest writers ever started writing simply because they wanted to create the friend they couldn’t find in the real world – or to revive the feeling of a real friendship they had lost. I, for example, still write letters to my dad who has been gone for years now. Does he write back? No. But the box of letters I’ve written since the day he died has kept parts of him alive in a way I never could have imagined.
Jennifer Allison grew up in a small town in Michigan. One of her best friends lived on a sheep farm, and the two girls found the spooky atmosphere of the barn hayloft to be perfect for séances. As it turned out, the experience was also perfect inspiration for a novel about a thirteen-year-old psychic investigator. Ms. Allison holds a B.A. from the University of Michigan and an M.F.A. from American University. Her various careers have included work as a news reporter and high school English teacher. She has also held numerous odd jobs — piano player in a shopping mall, assembly-line worker for General Motors, waitress, preschool teacher — that have helped her generate ideas for characters and stories. Jennifer Allison currently lives in Washington, D.C., with her husband, Michael, and their three children — Max, and the twins, Marcus and Genevieve (“Gigi”).
Reader Comments (6)
Wow! I love how this was done. Very creative and great ideas. And now I have another book to add to my TBR list.
I luv this article! Jennifer looks like a gr8 author!!! Btw, Ellen, y aren'tcha blogging??? I miss ur articles. Take care Anne, Ellen!
Hi Aishah.
I have been blog-remiss lately but I am blogging for MacKids Blog. A new one should be up on Friday.
Yes!
brilliant - diarrhea of the pen is probably the best explanation for crappy first drafts :)
amazing.i love Jennifers works, and the advice is great.i also have 'diarrhea of the pen'.
the phrase was used in the ladies of the lake, right?thanks 4 the great article